Hell Hath No Fury
by HeadlessHuntsman
Summary: Rose Weasley deals with a nasty bit of school gossip in her usual subtle and understated manner. Pure fluff.


Scorpius Malfoy jogged through the hall at the top of the spiral staircase, narrowly avoiding two first years. He almost dropped the two cups of tea he was holding. He stumbled to a halt before the door leading into Ravenclaw and leaned against the wall trying to look nonchalant.

The door opened and several girls came through laughing.

"Hey Scorp," a younger red-haired girl smiled.

"Hey Molly, what's up?"

Molly smirked. Looked at Scorpius's hands. "Apparently you are. What brings you all the way up here?" Molly winked. "As if I didn't know." Her friends all giggled or snickered.

"You know," Scorpius mumbled. "Just waiting for Rose."

"Ooh Rose my darling," the girl grabbed Molly. "I just lurve you!"

Molly laughed.

"It's not like that," Scorpius protested. "We're - "

" _Just friends!_ " All of the girls finished for him.

"Well we are," Scorpius said, trying to sound sure of himself.

"Sure, sure," Molly giggled, walking down the hall towards the staircase. "Rose will be out in a few. You know her, running late."

Scorpius nodded and leaned back to wait. A few minutes later Rose Weasley came running out the door while shouldering her book bag.

"Hey," she said smiling brightly. "Is one of those for me?"

"Yep. Figured you would be running late." He handed the cup over to her. "As usual."

"Bite me, snake boy," she said without any real force.

"I would," Scorpius smirked. "But from what I hear you bite back."

"What?"

"Oh come on Rose, Malcolm is one of my Housemates. He's told everyone what happened last Hogsmeade weekend." Scorpius tried to keep the jealousy out of his voice.

"Malcolm?" Rose asked slowly, her eyes narrowing. "What. Are. You. Talking. About?"

Scorpius knew that look and cautiously stepped away. "Well, he said that you and him... I mean he said that the two of you..."

"Yes? What _exactly_ did he say?"

Scorpius inhaled. "He said you boffed his brains out in the Shrieking Shack."

" _He what?_ " Rose dropped her tea. Her face turned bright red.

"So... I take it that it's not true?"

"It is. Most. Definitely. Not true." Rose gasped, trying to control her anger. "We didn't even kiss."

"Oh well, good." Scorpius said. "I mean, Malcolm is a real twit and I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Well I don't think it's me getting hurt you need to worry about," Rose said, a decidedly evil look in her blue eyes.

Scorpius shuddered.

"Where is he?" Rose asked in a quiet tone.

"I'm not really sure," Scorius hedged. "I think he could be on the practise pitch. Or maybe he's in the library." He winced at the weakness of his lie. Rose would of course know the library wasn't open yet.

"Scorpius," Rose said. "You will take me to him. Now."

Scorpius gulped and nodded. "He's in the Great Hall showing off his new broom."

Without another word Rose stormed off towards the spiral staircase, death in her eyes.

"You'd best run along, young man," Ravenclaw's eagle-doorknocker told Scorpius. "Before she kills someone."

 **-000-**

Many of the Slytherin boys and a few from other Houses were gathered around Malcolm, marvelling at his new broom. Rose entered the hall and made her way to the group.

"Hey Malcolm, here comes Rose," one of the boys crowed. "Maybe she wants to look at your broomstick... Again." All the boys laughed. Malcolm went a bit pale.

Rose stood at the edge of the group just behind two boys. "Excuse me," she said sweetly. The boys scampered out of her way.

Rose sauntered up to Malcolm where he sat trying to smile. Just as Scorpius caught up to her she smiled prettily and spoke. "Oh, nice broom. May I hold it?"

"Rose..." Scorpius warned.

"Don't worry, Scorpy." Rose spoke in the squeaky voice she used to mock girls she thought were shallow. "It's all right, isn't it Malcolm? I mean, after Hogsmeade and all."

Malcolm's gaze darted rapidly between the other boys at the table. He nodded and handed her the broom.

Rose hefted the broom and held it towards the end of the stick. "Nice broom. Good balance." She swung the broom back and forth as though sweeping the floor.

"Oh Malcolm, dearie?"

Malcolm cleared his throat. "Erm. Yeah?"

"Did you tell all the boys," Rose swept the broom through the air in a wide arc, forcing severla boys to duck. "That I ' _boffed your brains out' in the Shrieking Shack?!_ " Rose's face went red as her voice rose to a yell.

Malcolm stammered desperately, unable to form a coherent sentence.

Rose stopped swinging the broom. "I thought so," she said quietly. The she swung the broom down hard onto the Slytherin table. Straw flew everywhere and the head of the broom split with a resounding _crack!_

Rose turned and pointed the cracked broom like a sword at the assembled boys. Straw fell gently from the brush.

"For your information, nothing happened. As a matter of fact I have never done it with anyone, much less this - " She raised the broom over her head. She brought the broom down on the table with each following word. " - Overbearing - Borish - Puffed up - Sack of dragon dung!"

She slammed the broom down onto the table in the midst of scattered cutlery and plates. At last the handle cracked and split, the brush end exploding into a cloud of splinters.

Malcolm squeaked and tipped over backwards off the bench. Rose tossed the shattered broom down and kicked the fragments at at Malcolm. She turned and stomped out of the hall with Scorpius trailing behind her.

"Merlin," he gasped, trying to keep up. "You are one hostile virgin."

 **-000-**

Malcolm stood over the remains of his broom, looking forlorn. Headmistress McGonagal approached slowly from behind.

"Perhaps, Mr Reynolds, you can view this as an expensive lesson about impunging the virtue of young ladies."

Headmistress McGonagal looked at the pile of tinder at Malcolm's feet. She sighed wistfully.

"It really was a fine broom," she said before turning and making her way to the head table.

* * *

A/N: Hey everyone! I just want you all to know that I am still alive and as well as can be expected. I appreciate my friends Ian and Jeff who have helped me stay in touch with this community.

Reviews are always appreciated. Take care all and remember 'Never run away from something always be running towards something'.

Take Care,

HH


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